"Dear Michael,
Thank you for making me your first book reviewer.
I remember when you said you spent five years on it. I was stunned.
When I opened the package, the cover jumped out at me. Red flames engulfing fog, and a shiny ring in the middle, as if it was ruling over them. I never pictured "Flaming Rings" could be so vivid and genius looking.
Those 230 pages flipped by so fast. It took me less than a minute, actually, since that's how I read.
But, to put it bluntly, I didn't enjoy it. You used too many stuffy words like "pompous," "inadmissibility," or, my favorite one, "scrumptioulicious."
I understand the need to "spread out" your vocabulary, however, this is not the way to do it. At least not in an autobiography.
I would suggest a thorough rewrite of the work before submitting it to the press.
Your sweet bean pasta,
Edgar
P.S. You little smoocher, putting kisses and hearts on the first page. Made me giggle."
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